I want a title

Every-time I hear my wife use her title I think its so cool and I have to get one. She calls room service and is like, "this is Dr Schoemaker I need more pillows" then they call back and I pick up the phone and they are like "Dr. Schoemaker, did you want feather or foam pillows" and I am like "uhh I will ask HER". I think a title sounds so cool. It wouldn't have to be Doctor. Besides unless I want to goto school for like 15 years I cant be a Dr. Of course I could donate money to a university and get a honorary Doctorate but then my wife said she would not let me use the title unless I EARNED it. (A.D.D. KICKING IN side note - Earned it?!? Why can't I do well in my profession and buy a Doctorate by donating to a college.. why wouldn't I have EARNED it? ) Here are some other options for a title. Sir - after being knighted by the Queen of England I could use the title Sir Jeremy Schoemaker (only if I was a UK Citizen) This would require bribing of course and I do not think I have the money that other people like Bill Gates have nor the coolness of people like Rudolph Giuliani Reverend - Ohhh here is a good one. I need to find out more about this. Rev. Schoemaker sounds like a good title. Plus I like to talk so maybe it would be fitting. Anyway I want a title.