What Blogger Are You from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This is a guest post from Chanya I recently watched the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Not the original film with Gene Wilder but the remake with Johnny Depp. After watching the film I realized that I come across people like this every day online. Why? Because these kids are a lot like bloggers: Augustus Gloop In the movie, this was the overfed, out of control kid that falls into the chocolate river while attempting to drink from it. He eventually gets sucked up (and stuck) in a vacuum tube. He’s the greedy kid that had one purpose in mind: to gobble up as much food as possible. Bloggers like this are takers. They’re the ones that “borrow” other people’s posts without giving credit to the writer. In the end, they eventually get caught and “stuck” like Augustus: it’s difficult for them to go back and undo what they’ve done and it’s almost impossible for them to move forward and start anew. Violet Beauregarde If you’ll remember, when presented with a free piece of gum, Violet immediately stuffed it in her mouth even though she was told it was experimental and hadn’t been fully tested. This type of blogger has a site that’s chock-full of the latest plug-ins, widgets, and beta code. As such, their sites tend to be unreliable, overly busy, and difficult to navigate. Veruca Salt In the film the obsessively focused squirrels appealed to her; she had to have one. Money was no object and personal security and safety were a secondary concern - she leapt feet-first into the squirrel “pit” with no forethought. Bloggers like this have sites that reflect poor planning and preparedness. Their sites look like they just “jumped in” and started blogging. This may actually work for some bloggers but I believe their impulsiveness usually results in a blog that’s abandoned or infrequently updated. Truthfully, I see a little Veruca in me. I started blogging because I had a “gotta have it” moment. In retrospect, I should have spent more time on research. I should have spent more time reading other blogs. I should have spent more time in the blog forums. Had I done that I can honestly tell you I wouldn’t have landed on Blogger. I would have chosen a web hosting service and created a WordPress-powered blog. So, (behind the scenes) I’m backtracking a bit and doing just that. Mike Teavee This kid was the nerd of the movie. If you’ll remember, he’s the one that cracked the secret code to winning golden tickets. He was absolutely addicted to TV and video games. Focused on all things technical, this type of blogger can fall into the trap of being too much of a tech head and end up turning away a wide range of readers. For example, how many people understand “I am using 6.06 (Dapper) LTS so I needed to compile the gspca kernel driver. Unpacked the tar file gspcav1-20070508.tar.gz.” Show of hands please. On the flip side, I have to say that the geek in me likes blogs of this type. There’s definitely a niche market for them. As a matter of fact, techie blogs are the ones I read the most. However, the ones I revisit are those that are entertaining and written so “even a caveman can understand it.” Oompa Loompas In my mind, the people that comment on blog posts are the oompa loompas of the blogosphere. The good ones, those that give honest feedback, provide constructive criticism on what we write. They can sometimes be brutally honest (and sometimes just brutal) but taken as a whole their words provide insight into what’s working and what isn’t. Charlie Bucket Charlie is the role model in the movie. He’s the one that follows the rules. He’s patient. He’s not looking to grab the spotlight. He doesn’t possess a “get rich quick” mentality but he also doesn’t begrudge others their successes. He knows things will work out for him in the end if he works hard and maintains his integrity. He learns from his mistakes and those of others and is always willing to share what he has. In the end, he triumphs. This is the blogger we all aspire to be. What type of blogger are you?